I’ve been talking a lot recently about the different barriers that we create for ourselves that prevent our success, so I thought I’d continue in that vein today by talking about another huge obstacle: our fear of failure.

It’s a fear that seems at once both reasonable and unreasonable. Reasonable, because it’s common and natural and we understand why the fear exists. Unreasonable, because it’s unnecessary, and because it holds us back.

So let’s start with reasonable. That is, the common problems.

In a lot of cases, the fear of failure is a social thing. We’re afraid that if we fail, we’ll look foolish in front of others, and those who told us we would fail will be proven right.

To that, I say, you can always find someone to run you down. Most people don’t like for others to do something they don’t consider normal or safe. And many people don’t like for others to succeed. So they pass their negativity and fear onto you.

There are two answers to this problem. The first is to show them that you have a clear plan for making the change you’re making, and that you have a reasonable fallback option if things don’t work out perfectly. The second answer is to ignore them completely. I’ll leave that up to you.

Another obvious cause of the fear of failure comes from when we consider the consequences. It’s perfectly understandable that when you look at the worst case scenario, you’ll be afraid of the worst case scenario. And it’s certainly wise to plan for that. But that’s not the only possibility.

I recently spoke with marketing coach Jonathan Fields about this. His advice in this situation is to ask yourself three questions: What if I fail? What if I do nothing? What if I succeed?

Make sure you come up with good answers for all three questions. He says that more often than not the people that he’s coached that do this exercise end up taking action and succeeding. And I believe him.

OK, so we understand why it’s reasonable to be afraid to fail. Now let’s talk about why it’s unreasonable. Here it is in a short, pithy sentence: It’s OK to fail.

If you ask me, failure is the best teacher, as long as you pay attention to it, because we learn from our mistakes faster than almost anything else. Faster than we learn from good advice or guidance most of the time, even if it comes from an expert or parent or teacher. We can be told what to do in most situations, but there are a lot of cases where learning as you go is best. And that means that you’re going to make mistakes.

Be honest, you’ve made mistakes before. It wasn’t the end of the world. It only becomes a problem if you keep making the same mistake when you already know that it’s a mistake. Some people do that, but most animals (humans included) are great learners. Kind of like the way you once touched something sharp, hurt yourself, realized that thing is sharp, and decided to be more careful next time. And hopefully, you walked away with only a mild boo-boo.

Well, the same thing is true in your personal development. Most people that are dedicated to their development try new things all of the time. Of course not every new venture works out. And they may screw up a job interview, or fail a test, or lose some money, or whatever, but they stick with it. And they do it again, but now with more knowledge at their disposal.

Why can’t you?

It’s perfectly normal to make mistakes. Hell, it’s normal to fail miserably. And, unfortunately, it’s normal to let that scare you off of ever taking another chance in your life. There’s an old saying that says something along the lines of you’ll regret the things you never tried much more than the things you did try and failed at.

So after all of that blabbering, my basic point is this: If you’re really interested in your own self improvement, then set out a solid plan, make sure you have options if things don’t go exactly according to your plan, and then get to work.

And then, as is inevitable, fail, correct it, do it right the next time.

Remember, success depends on failure. Good luck.